How To Build Self-Confidence

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The Definition

The word ‘self‘ describes your entire being or what you are made of, which makes you unique. Confidence comes from the Latin word ‘fides‘, meaning ‘faith‘. It is therefore safe to define self-confidence as ‘having faith in your unique self’.

We live in a society that sets the standards, and if we don’t measure up to the yardstick, we are out! There shouldn’t be any measures if each one of us is unique. If we listen to the noise around us then we lose faith in our selves because we allow others to dictate who we ought to be. It is no longer you.

Shut The World

Shut the world up and listen to that  voice inside you. It tells you that you are unique and that you will be able to achieve anything you want to achieve, even if the world thinks you are not good enough. Just believe, have faith in yourself, you are more than enough.

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

from the poem ‘Invictus’ by William Ernest Henley

How do you build self-confidence?

Find your Perfect Voice

Your voice is an expression of what yourself is made of and this is not limited to your speaking or singing voice as it could be any other form of self expression like art or playing music. So think about that perfect voice or self-expression that can accurately describe what you want to convey to the world. It is usually what you are good at or something that you really love to do. If you love it, it will exude across and people will learn to love it too.

Singing Voice

If you haven’t figured it out yet, then experiment on the things you are interested in. Interest triggers passion, and passion fuels the energy in your body to express it. It’s there in you, you got it. You just need to polish it to perfection.

Search for the Meaning of your Voice

I must admit, teaching and training for 19 years now (that just gave away my age), I still feel nervous every time I am about to give lectures or train people or participate in high level meetings. The sad news is, I got to do it. I committed (or paid) to do it so I have to. To overcome the jitters, I remind myself of the reason why I train or speak in front of people. It is not about me. It is about what people will learn and can take home with after my training. It will have an impact on their jobs or their lives thereafter, so I have to do my best. No option to fail them.

Mastery is Key to Success

There is a 10,000-hour rule to mastery, according to Malcolm Timothy Gladwell, CM, author of five The New York Times best seller books, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (2000), Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (2005), Outliers: The Story of Success (2008),  What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures (2009) and David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants (2013). You need to invest time and energy to prepare and polish your craft. You got to apply great amount of pressure to make that perfect diamond, right?

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Practice, practice, practice and no, you can’t wing it (please don’t)! You may be smart and can do things with ease, but you can do way better if you practice.

This right here, is the true builder of confidence. If you have mastered your script or your dance moves or your notes because you spent so much time practicing and perfecting them, you need not to feel nervous. It’s unnecessary torment to your body. Preparation can also mean calculating risks before you take on a business venture, for instance. You are aware of the risks but you are prepared to face them and you have concrete actions to avoid or correct them.

Learn to Acknowledge Feedback

It’s hard to acknowledge feedback that hits our ego, but we do know that we aren’t perfect and we need to accept that. This what makes life more beautiful as it constantly gives us another day to work on the things we need to work on! There is always hope to be better! If we stop acknowledging feedback we stop growing. We will be stuck in a line on a scale. Empty your cup so others can fill in. Stay green, never ripen. The latter brings regression while the former opens you up to take in what’s needed to be taken in.

Empty your Cup

Take that feedback like a handful of sand, then sift. Take the ones that are left on the sieve as these are the biggest to deal with. These can represent hard, technical skills, not a personal attack, that can help you hone your skills.

These words of Nelson Mandela help me build my own self confidence and I want to share it with you too, hoping that you too will be inspired to empower yourself…  Good luck! #Godisfaithful

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela

Published by fran

Fran Saguindang Riego de Dios, MS has been in training and leadership development for 15 years now. She was awarded one of the Most Talented Training & Development Leaders in the Philippines 2019 during the 14th Employer Branding Awards by Employer Branding Institute. She also enjoys art and music. You may also visit her personal Leadership Blog Site at Leadership Project.

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