It is innate in us that we gravitate towards anyone who is physically beautiful or anything that is pleasant to our senses. Our neurons and hormones react to it in rave! Genetically speaking, these traits have advanced into the gene pool, amongst any other traits.
Unfortunately, we have decoded these cryptic worthy-of-inheriting traits differently. For instance, men liking big breasts or wide pelvis are actually hard-wired in them as instinctively these traits are good for nursing your future offspring or for housing your baby in the womb. I believe these favorable traits have been used as sex symbols instead.
Girls, on the other hand, are starving themselves to lose excess fats, specifically the abs, and look more attractive to men. Hips are emphasized more when your waist is tiny.
Blame it to our ancestors!
We are actually wired to get attracted to the physical features I described above. To understand this better, we need to go back to as far as the time when humans were still living in caves.
To survive then, men needed to hunt and kill to feed their families. This required a great physique to carry out the task successfully. Strength had always been the most favorable trait and not necessarily the physical features. Men preferred that their women are capable of providing an abundant supply of milk to nurse their children. Man needed a woman who could also bear children to help out in the daily plight. These were never sex symbols in the past but necessities to survival!
What about good looks?
Did our ancestors prefer good looks? I thought great looks as a consideration to finding a partner is one of the many vanities that the modern society has introduced us to. However, I was surprised to learn that we are actually wired to like ourselves, our very own facial features!
In the episode, Facial Attraction, of National Geographic’s Brain Games, it was proven through an experiment that we tend to like or get attracted with people who may have similar facial features that we also possess. Could this be the reason why most couple look the same?
We also know that our brain seeks for patterns, connection, relations or correlations all the time! This is also why humans are naturally attracted to symmetry, ratio and balance. If we find any of these in anything- faces or body or movement as in dance- we are drawn to it quite quicker.
The Law Of Relativity And Aging
As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder which is in tangent with Albert Einstein’s law of relativity- that ‘everything is relative’. My perceived beauty may not be similar to yours. My choices are driven by the environment (demographics- race, country, etc.) I was brought up in, the genes that make up my physical being and the insights that my previous experiences bring.
Whether we like it or not, we go through the dreadful phase of aging. Even if we put our bodies under the knife incising the fats off or the saggy skin off, everything still sags in the end. Everything follows the gravitational pull, regardless of the thread-count (scientifically known as collagen) tethering your face together. Are you sure your partner is ready to see you on this state or are you?
What is real beauty?
One thing I am certain about is that humans, whichever continents they belong, understand the universal language and meaning of compassion, respect, patience, resilience, wisdom and pure love- but none of these is relative like physical beuaty. These are the beautiful traits that even flourish as we age… so these beatific traits are worth passing on to the next generation.
We have had great leaders who have helped shaped this world into a better place and not all of them are pretty darn good-looking (based against the society’s measures of good looks)! But their contributions are tremendous and life-changing.
The truth is, as we go deeper in the relationship with our sweethearts, partners or spouses, we realize that physical attributes are just secondary prerequisites to building a better home and in raising good citizens. There are more to relationship, life and love than the physical attributes.