Health, Life

How to Deal with Rejection

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How to deal with rejection? Let us start with a bible verse that saved my life from the Book of Jeremiah:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Rejection is the proper initiation into becoming great someday. Suppose you can use that sting of rejection as fuel to propel you further. In that case, you will be like Oprah Winfrey (her TV producer once fired her because she was unfit for television), Walt Disney (he was once fired from his first job because he lacked imagination and had no good ideas), JK Rowling (12 significant publishers rejected Harry Potter script), Bill Gates (failed at his first business) and many more successful people who were painfully left and failed in the beginning but then decided to lick their wounds and moved along.

We know that we will be able to achieve our dreams someday, but the pain of rejection today is just so difficult to deal with and overcome. The pain won’t go away, it is normal, and it is how we are wired to feel when negative things happen to us.

Here are the steps I have listed for you, which come from my own experiences as I have been rejected quite a few times (I am still in the rejection phase, perhaps, and hopeful that I will get there). From the experiences of other people I know, who was able to overcome rejection and are thriving today.

get yourself a tea

Step 1: Take Time To Contemplate

Have the courage to face it head-on. Do not flinch that you have just been rejected, but you can’t be too emotional. It is best to first find a neutral environment, like an open space in the park or a cozy coffee shop. Some people get a massage in a spa, while others prefer staying in a small chapel to contemplate.

If you are in the coffee shop, get a tea that has been proven to have a soothing effect. We need to be relaxed so we can think better. Drinking coffee and eating sweets increase blood pressure, which may be the last thing we want to happen during this stressful time. Coffee and sweets increase dopamine (happy hormone) which most of us take in sad times. However, it is best to be relaxed in this situation. Some people find the coffee aroma calming; being in the coffee shop smelling the scent is already good enough, but you must order.

Cold water (not icy cold, as my heart will be stressed) is still the best quick fix! It’s highly accessible! It’s in your fridge or at a water station in your office.

aim for survival

Step 2: Breathe, Assess: Fight or flight?  

Rejection brings so much stress to the brain, so it needs air (oxygen through the blood) to function and cope with the heightened activity. Breathe! Inhale, exhale. The stress hormone, cortisol (released when you are under stress like this time), will be busy as ever trying to help regulate body functions but having lots of them is detrimental to our health. This is why we are more susceptible to diseases when we are down.

We usually fight off an enemy or leave as we aim for survival. It is best to assess whether it’s time to redirect the focus to other great things or to pursue, persevere and grapple. Do we want it like if we are gasping for air when we are short of breath?

time for coffee and sweets

Step 3: Go back to the drawing board!

If you decide to pursue it, you must revisit your plan. Some of us may try other options, which is also a good idea; don’t proceed without a plan of action. The pain you feel means it is time to revisit and update the game plan! Nobody woke up one day already great at something, and by the way, this is the perfect time for coffee and sweets! We need dopamine to awaken the brain’s pre-frontal cortex for this critical decision-making process.

Grab constructive feedback and create action plans of what you can do to be better at them. Invest most of your waking hours in researching and practicing your craft. It is the best way to be great at it.

You will be able to embrace your dream someday, so you must not stop the chase today. Stay alive—# Godisfaithful.

Reference (first paragraph):
Wanderlust Worker – 12 Famous People Who Failed Before Succeeding

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Published by Fran SRdD

Fran Saguindang Riego de Dios, MS has been in training and leadership development for 20 years now. She's the Founder & CEO of Fraoel Consulting. She earned her Masters degree in Biology and eventually explored the corporate world (specifically in the BPO industry). While she runs her own consulting business, part-time, she is also a corporate leader in one of the biggest players in the BPO industry in the Philippines. She was awarded one of the Most Talented Training & Development Leaders in the Philippines 2019 during the 14th Employer Branding Awards by Employer Branding Institute. Her first book "5 Whys to Discover Your Purpose: A Life Journal" and her 2nd book "The Uncomfortable Truth About Leading People - Leadership Lessons" were published independently. Visit Books Project to learn more. Fran likes to use her science background to help leaders understand their people more and help them grow. She also enjoys art and music. And all her original music are available on Spotify and Apple Music. Her Project by Fran Podcast is on Spotify too. You may also visit her personal Leadership Blog Site, Leadership Project. Take also some of her FREE Online Courses here, Fran SRdD University.

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